Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
