Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
