i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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