This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm both gender and math confused
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
