Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
