I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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