Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
