Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
