:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
