"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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