you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
