did you get engaged???
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
