I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
