I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
