Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
