Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
