just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
