She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
