well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
