their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
