You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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