Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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