sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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