Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
