Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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