I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
