things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
