Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
