Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I looked at my own cervix.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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