he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
