Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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