how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
