I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
