Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
