Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
