I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
