we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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