paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
