no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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