Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
