her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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