Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
