judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
