Soap is not a condiment
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
