wat bout pragnant strippers??
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
