I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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