Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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