I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
