Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
