Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
